As an experiment, for this rehearsal, I had my boyfriend film me so I could say the words directly to him. Because he is the person I am addressing in the poem, I thought it would be interesting to see how actually saying it to him influenced the piece, for example, which things were harder to say and where I found new moments of vulnerability.
Things I liked about this rehearsal:
I thought my "O" vowels were nice and long on certain words, particularly moon, slow, and long. I really liked the way I emphasized the word "destined" towards the end of the poem. I also liked my volume change on the word "sweetness" to the point that it was almost whispered. Watching the video back, I also noticed that I used thin chords fairly regularly throughout the poem, which I liked for certain lines such as "I shall stop loving you little by little" because I think it supports the feeling that it is not an easy thing to say and adds to the emotion behind it. However, I think I can go through and score my poem where thin chords may be appropriate to use so I don't overdo it.
Things to improve upon:
I noticed my alignment was a little off from the beginning. My left foot was behind my right foot a bit, and since my feet were square, I was putting some extra weight into my right hip. My head was also weirdly tilted to one side and my chin was pointed down through a lot of the piece. I think some of that might have been because my boyfriend and the phone camera were below me, so my focus was lower than normal, but I know I have a tendency to point my chin down during strong emotional moments, so I think it's something I definitely need to watch out for. I didn't think my articulation was very strong this time around, and I swallowed a lots of my T's and made them glottal. I especially noticed this on the word "forgotten." I also felt I was not as connected to my breath, which may be why I was using thin chords so much. I think there are moments to use them, but I think I need to also search for moments of more strength and resonance. Generally, I thought my voice was sitting a bit lower than normal, and there was almost some vocal fry creeping in. This may be due to the fact that I was tired and filmed this at 1 a.m. without being fully warmed up. I rushed into saying "were little boats that sail..." and think I could've used a stronger pause there. I also realized in watching this that when I hit words vocally, I mimic the emphasis with my hands. I think this can work to really hit certain words but I do it so much that I think it's weakening my gestures. Finally, I need to hold the final moment longer and not take a step backwards to get out of it.
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